It has been almost a month since I last blogged.
Mostly it's because there's nothing much to blog about.. and the rest is because there really is nothing much to blog about.
But I guess I'll just reach out once in a while and talk (type) about what I've been up to this whole time, since some people (yes not just one) are starting to ask about it. I do realise my blog has been left for quite some time, but it's mostly 'cause I'm getting busy and I kept feeling guilty if I were to spend time typing up a blog post instead of filling up my C++ project with codes or populating my literature review with words in LaTeX. Even then I'll still find other channels to procrastinate with (read: FB, youtube, stalking) <.<''' so I figured, rather than doing that, writing up a blog post is better in some way..
Lab and Organisation
Life has been the same basically. Going to the lab at 9 (although mean time is 9:30) and getting back at 6:30-7:00pm (which is still quite bright, now is 8:16pm and it's like.... 6:30pm in Malaysia).. That would be my everyday routine, though I'll make the schedule more flexible when MK is not around =P. Yeah.. I have 'office hours' see? Balik memang quite penat..
A few weeks ago I realised I wasn't organised enough, especially because I had a lot of stuff that needs to be done: Rebuttal work, Peer Review, C++ Programming and Steady State Analysis (SSA). Oh, I didn't mention reading did I? LOADS of reading. Journal papers especially. So "what's rebuttal and peer review" you might ask. Basically when you send a paper to a journal to be published, after the editors accept it, they will send it to other peer scientists who are "experts" on the topic to be reviewed. They'll send their reviews and you will have to do a rebuttal; i.e. a reply to state you've made appropriate changes to the paper and to rebut anything you disagree with them. So that's what a rebuttal and peer review is. My project's predecessor PhD student had sent a paper for publishing before he went back and after his viva, reviews for that paper came. He (and MK) asked me to help him with the rebuttal work (basically calculating more stuff using Gaussian). After some time MK asked me to do a review on a paper which he got, since he wants me to have the experience. I agree that both are valuable experience for me, but being a bit unorganised I had quite some trouble with them. You see, those two are urgent, but one needs to wait (Gaussian takes ages to give converged results) and the other is.... ergh. Leceh. I needed to read it in detail and check with other papers as well, and since I'm not that experienced yet in this thing I need to refer to a lot of stuff. One of the things in reviews that I frequently see is aside from sentence structure/other petty stuff, it is important to criticise something technical about it, I mean like.. the author's theories, his understanding on the matter, his methods, what he concluded, his interpretation on what he did, his results, his explanation, etc. etc. To criticise others I myself need a level of understanding of that topic which I'm no "expert" in. So since banyak keje and all, secara otomatiknya saya menjadi malas hendak buat.. pening kot kepala baca each word and making sure it sounds right (takleh skim through jer) checking his references to make sure he's not making it up..
Then the C++ thing, I still need to read up on the other projects the group had been doing, and the SSA needs quite a lot of reading, planning, and it is quite important as well since it might be the main topic of my future paper.
The problem arose when I can't focus. When I tried focusing on one work, I'll feel like I'm neglecting another important work and terasa nak buat yang tu pulak. Buat sikit, and mula cam panic sket because of the sheer magnitude of difficulty and work that needed to be done. The process was then repeated. In the end nothing much was achieved in any of the work.
So I set myself to think of a solution, and the answer I got (which is working fine too) is to have a planner (yeah. kinda obvious I must say....). Well not just a planner, I need to construct a scheduled To-Do-List for the whole day, everyday. Break up my work into smaller parts, plan out when to do them, lay it out in a schedule spreading out on a day or two. It's simple yet very effective. Now when I focus on a work, I can forget about all other work that I have, since I know (...believe.) I'll be doing it anyways in the future as planned, and nothing will be left out. So now my work with peer reviewing done, what's left is C++.. and SSA. Both are progressing I believe, and interesting to be done. 8D
London
I've been going to London quite a lot now, ever since I found the brothers in Finsbury Park :D. Hanging out with them is always fun, and now I'm also going there for usrah, unless susah nak pergi and so a friend of mine there will instead come here to Cambridge. They're very sporting, lawak, fun people, and they have such a close bond. ^^ And they're always reminding each other about Islam and how muslims should be. Oh, and they cook delicious Malay food 8).
The last time I went there was last weekend, just lepak2, tido sana semalaman, tgk derang main basketball, usrah, main tenis... and my old hobby got into practice: doing magic tricks >:D Heh seriyes teringat zaman UNiM dulu when I'll go around tricking so many people, accused of being Satan or using Jin/syaitan/toyol/w.e. synonyms. Huge success.. heheheheheh x)
They ajak main basketball skali, but since I has this... ball-in-motion-o-phobia I can't play. It's a condition where if I see a ball as big as a futsal ball (or bigger) flying into a certain radius of airspace around me I'll get a sort of panic attack, heart beating quicker, adrenaline rush, ketakutan and I'll either elak or tepis for sure. Recently I've found out that it doesn't even need to be a ball.. as long as it's as wide as a ball (e.g. a frisbee) and it flies within my area, I'll definitely react. =_=''' Kinda pathetic and limits my choices of sports.. A tennis ball is fine, even though it can still get me cuak gak.. but it's controllable. Not basketballs, not soccer and the likes, and not frisbees.. >.>
So I tried playing tennis.. and realised just how much I suck... like totally. Pukulan suma tah ke mana... serve pon jadik if i was lucky.. and the ball will most likely not be returned by me.. at least not legally.. and at a reachable height by normal humans. I was told that I was not supposed to use my wrist, but too late. Waktu tu dah sampai Cambridge.. anyway I realised that fact after successfully managed to get the racquet in contact with the ball like... 5 times? I began to understand why mama said to me a long time before, you can only play either badminton or tennis, not both. =/ I guess the only way is to unlearn some badminton techniques that I've been using and learn the tennis way of playing. Whatever it is, my first impression was: I HATE TENNIS.
*Heh, I fell asleep at this point, now is 8:19am Friday the 21st. Lovely sunny day outside and I'm eating up my breakfast cereals*
But with all that's happening, sometimes I feel like I'm not my age.. I don't feel 20 (almost 21) pon... kengkadang terasa macam... I'm 24-25. Bila pegi London tengok diorang buat kerja, I felt: Teringat masa buat degree dulu, berapa tahun lepas. T=
I guess my whole life I never mixed with (a lot of) friends around my age, and now that I'm with them I feel older.. (Even though they might be more matured than me) Sometimes I wonder too am I too young to be doing a PhD?
Nevertheless I never regretted coming here to do what I'm doing, or got to finish MEng just last year. I've really hoped for this ever since my final year in MEng, to be doing PhD. I'm never too young, it can be done, and I'm gonna do it.
Last Sunday was a very significant day for me. 16th of May.. So many has happened on this date just last year. Besides Teachers' Day, it is also the day of my final MEng exam paper, H84MPS, Multi-Phase Systems with Dr Sergey Spotar as the lecturer, which marked the end of my whole MEng in Chemical Engineering course. But most of all it was the day my life changed forever. C=
Anyways. 8:40am and tak mandi lagi. Gotta rush and go to lab. Next post will most probably not have this much of a gap..
[Oh. And to that someone in Bangi/Kajang, if you're reading this please tell me if you've gotten a PostPak envelope delivered to you ok? ;) I'm expecting today, though knowing Malaysian Postal Service.. ntah ah, tak tau nak expect.]
